Making Pictou County Home
Some decisions we make for ourselves and our families, decisions that are best when looking ahead to the future, are not the easiest to move forward with. But when a choice presents great challenge or hardship, it’s often the clearest sign you’ve made the right one.
Nour Alrefai knows what it takes to make the best decision for your family, even when it challenges you. Even when it might be the most challenging choice of your life, not because you’re unsure if it’s right, but because you know it is.
In October of 2018, Nour’s husband, Mohammad Abu Kharoub, ended up leaving Syria for Pictou County. Though Nour and Mohammed never anticipated leaving their home, the Syrian Crisis happened, completely altering the course of their family's lives.
During the crisis, Mohammad was separated from Nour and their two girls, Tasnim and Ansam, who would spend the next few months with family in Lebanon, while Mohammed was here in the County, hoping his family was safe. For all of us who have never experienced a war-torn country, it’s impossible to understand what Nour and Mohammed’s family experienced during this time. Living in fear, not knowing if your loved ones were alive, or amongst the casualties on the side of the road.
“He turned back for us, but the road was too dangerous,” said Alrefai.
After several long months, the pair were able to reach one another. Though they were both provided with immense relief, Mohammad still feared for the safety of his wife and girls in Lebanon.
After that, the work began to bring Nour, Tasnim, and Ansam to Pictou County. With the help of groups like Communities Assisting Refugees Now (CAIRN), reuniting the family was possible.
Alrefai and her daughters, 3 and 4.5, flew from Lebanon to Turkey, then to Toronto, before landing in Halifax.
“It was difficult,” Alrefai shared. “Our English was almost zero. That was the hardest part. But I was happy.”
Sharon Cheverie, volunteer with CAIRNS, has helped the organization facilitate immigration journeys for a while now. She had an active role in helping reunite Mohammad and his family and remains an important figure in their lives today.
“I remember watching his anticipation at the airport,” said Cheverie. “He had been so worried those months.”
Cheverie described the initial reuniting of the family as an emotional experience for all involved.
“I was happy to see my husband,” said Alrefai. “I was happy he could take some of my responsibilities on his back.”
Since arriving in Halifax, the family has moved from Pictou to New Glasgow, welcomed their son Obieda, found friends within the community, and created a home where their family feels safe.
On June 13, Alrefai officially became a Canadian citizen. She celebrated the significant accomplishment amongst friends and family. “I’m really proud,” she said. “I’m feeling like I’m a part of this kind community.”
While she’s happy and safe here in Pictou County, she misses her loved ones in Syria. Since it’s not a safe place for their family to return to, she doesn’t know when, or if, they’ll see their extended family again.
“I’m happy my daughters didn’t have to see what I did,” she said. “But I don’t know when I’ll see my family … my sister got married, and I couldn’t be there.”
Being so far from everything, and everyone, you know, can feel like living with a constant dull ache. But forming connections in your new home helps ease that ache.
Alrefai and her family’s connection to people like Cheverie has made Pictou County feel like home. “She’s like a mom,” said Alrefai. “I feel it’s like a family here.”
Cheverie was in the delivery room, holding Alrefai's hand, when she had her son. “She cares about our children, about us,” she said.
Since she was beginning the 10th grade, Alrefai has known war. Now, she has created a home full of love and peace for her family, here in Pictou County. She’s far from a lot of people she cares about, but she has the freedom to think of her future. Big life events happen without her loved ones, but her husband has the freedom to pursue his wide range of skills, from painting to construction projects. Her future visits home are uncertain, but her children’s futures are not; they won’t share their parents’ first-hand knowledge of war.
Making the decision to travel here, with two small children, leaving the rest of her family behind, was not easy. But Nour and her family are happy they chose Pictou County, where they feel at home, and where they have the freedom to achieve their goals.
Published September 2023